Fig Newtons Are Named After What?
by TugLover98
Summary: "I told Horace that they were named after Issac Newton but he said I was dumb and that they weren't!" It was going to be a long day for Halt. Just some insanity my friend, With-the-Wolves, and I came up with after a late night Big Bang Theory watching. Rated K because of the very last word in the actual story that some people would consider bad. Might add chapters.


**This idea came from a late night watching of Big Bang Theory. Then my friend, With-the-Wolves, got in on it and we just went crazy. Hope you enjoy the insanity.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or Fig Newtons or Big Bang Theory or anything you may have seen before.**

 **Idea was mine but that's about it.**

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 **Fig Newtons Are Named After What?**

It was just another boring day with Halt reading reports on the veranda and Will doing...actually Halt didn't know. Oh well, as long as Halt didn't hear screaming or see blood or smoke he could care less about where Will was at the moment.

"Hey, Halt, can I ask you a question?" Speak of the devil. Will's voice floated from the cabin door.

"You just did," Halt sighed. Great. It was going to be one those ask-Halt-so-many-questions-that-he-wants-to-shoot-you-so-full-of-arrows-you-look-like-a-porcupine days. Halt _always_ loved those days.

"Oh, right. Can I ask you another question? No wait...that is a question. Can I ask you _two_ questions?"

"Sure." Halt said, finally turning to face his apprentice.

"What are Fig Newtons named after?"

"What?" Where did his apprentice come up with these questions?

"You know, these cookie thingys." Will pulled out a package of Fig Newtons from behind his back.

"No. I know what you're talking about, why do you want to know?"

Will shrugged. "I told Horace that they were named after Issac Newton but he said I was dumb and that they weren't!" Jeez, they act like five year olds.

Halt raised one eyebrow at his apprentice. "Who's Issac Newton?"

"A nineteenth century physicist who discovered gravity."

"Will, you realize we live in the thirteenth century, right? How do you even know about people from the nineteenth century?"

Will raised his eyebrows at his mentor. "I went to school. Duh."

Halt decided just to leave that one alone. "They aren't named after Issac Newton, Will."

"Dang it!"

"They're actually named after a town in Massachusetts."

"Now look at who is talking about things that aren't real! I've never heard of that place!"

"Well they aren't named after some physi...er...person." Halt said while turning back to his reports.

"Physicist. Well then where is this so called 'Massa' place?"

Halt had to fight the urge to smack himself in the face. "I thought you said you went to school?"

"Well yeah, but I wasn't good at Geometry."

"You mean Geography?"

"No, Ge-ometry. With the planets and stuff." Will tried to explain.

Halt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Geometry is shapes, Will." Wow, how did he make it through school? Probably cheated, kids these days.

"Yeah...like the shapes of planets and stuff." Will responded, giving Halt an 'I know what I'm talking about' look.

"No, like the shapes of triangles and circles. Planets are astronomy or something." Halt shot the look right back at Will.

Will snorted. "Astronomy? That's like horoscopes and stuff; they didn't teach that in school! I think you need to be re-educated."

Halt stared at Will for a second, wondering if he should be offended or not. No, Will is the one who needs the re-education. Finally, coming to a conclusion, Halt just got up and left, completely done with the conversation. "Waiiit! You never told me where Massa was!"

Ah crap...

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 **And that was the insanity.**

 **So...Love it? Hate it? Laughed? Though it was boring?**

 **Please review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism welcome. Please no flames.**

 **Bye! Have a great day! :)**

 **P.S. I haven't read any Ranger's Apprentice stories in awhile so if the porcupine idea showed up in anyone's stories I am sorry, I did not intend to steal anything.**


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